why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
