talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
