Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
