Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
