I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
