Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
