even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
