In the future we'll all be gay
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
