Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize