I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
