dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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