tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
