the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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