this beer tastes like vomit already
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
