I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
