His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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