Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
