he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need to calm my uterus...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
