And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
