there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How external is "for external use only"?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
