I hate your face
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
