He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
