Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
