Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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