And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
