I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
