I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
