Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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