so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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