I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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