if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
