nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
