i just wanna soil my oats bro
she looked like the before picture.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
