just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
