I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
