There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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