do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We are all done wearing pants today
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
