I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
