You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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