Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
