Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
