Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
