Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
