yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
