The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
