I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
