Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
