She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
