I think I am morally bankrupt
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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