I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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