Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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