My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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