I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
