rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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