at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I touched a dick in church today
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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