Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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