my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
