No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
