Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
