You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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