ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
