im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
