Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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