Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
