don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize